A Royal Wedding requires a fascinator.
Okay, maybe not if you’re watching a tape-delayed, televised Royal Wedding from the comfort of your sisters’ couch in Austin, Texas.
But, you know what? I want to wear a fascinator.
A few weeks ago, I spent a not insignificant amount of time Googling “fascinator” and wandering the aisles of Hobby Lobby. Packages of paper butterflies and sprays of fake roses and bobbing sparkly feathers called my name. I picked up the package of butterflies and some floral wire. Visions of a headpiece once worn by Princess Eugenie danced in my head.
I’ll make scones, I texted my sister Peggy.
Erin wants to watch the wedding after her spin class, she responded.
I wandered to the back of the store in search of a headband.
No spin class, I texted my sister Erin. Peggy promised we’d drink tea and eat scones in our pajamas. It won’t be the same in sweaty workout clothes.
Erin’s reply came quickly. Peggy got to you!
I thought of our other sister. Colleen bought a tiara from Party City for the occasion. I’ll send Colleen with you. In her tiara!
It was just a thought.
The eye roll emoticon was the only appropriate reply.
As I got in line to pay, I realized that I’d spend a ridiculous amount of money on craft supplies for something that was guaranteed to end up looking like a 5-year-old’s art project. I retraced my steps and put the headband, wire, and butterflies back on their respective shelves.
A quick search of Etsy revealed endless options. I decided on a small blue circle that would ostensibly clip into my hair. A spray of blue silk orchids curved up from the small hat. It was pretty and it wasn’t much more expensive than the supplies I grabbed earlier. When it arrived in the mail last week, it was far prettier than I thought it would be. It also looks as ridiculous on my head as I thought it would.
I immediately drove to Target to find new pajama pants to match the blue orchids. They are now in a box with the hat and the teacup my sister brought me from London. I hope Erin remembers to buy clotted cream.
It’s important to get the details right when you watch the wedding of two people you’ve never met.